I don't often do this, but I perused the local Minneapolis Star-Tribune due to acute boredom this afternoon. After getting past the fact that the Strib managed to bury most of Mark Dayton's appearance at the Hill yesterday -- which means they understand exactly how poorly he fared -- another headline caught my eye: 1,000-Man March Planned May 21. I suppose these days a protest just doesn't count if you can't tag "[round number]-Man March" onto it in the same way that a scandal without a "-Gate" suffix gets relegated to page A-32, but the number seems to be pretty low, compared to the Million-Man March (that attracted about 800,000) and the Million-Mom March (which drew 150,000). I figured that a thousand-man march might draw something like, oh, twelve guys and thirty-three reporters for their true and noble cause.

Of course, on this point, the whole notion falls apart. Take a look at the entire article, which I will helpfully reproduce here as it only comprises three sentences:

Community leaders and activists will hold a 1,000 Man March beginning at 4 p.m. May 21 at New Salem Baptist Church, 2519 Lyndale Av. N., Minneapolis. The march will proceed through several blocks in north Minneapolis. For more information call New Salem at 612-nnn-nnnn or The City Inc. at 612-nnn-nnnn.

For more information? How about any information? I assume from this invitation that the entire point is to find 1,000 men to walk several blocks in north Minneapolis. Apparently, walking only a couple of blocks (or a few miles) is strictly prohibited and probably indicates a corporate/Republican/male-power-structure oppression.

If you live in the Twin Cities or plan to visit on May 21 and have nothing better to do on a Friday evening except walk a limited distance, this event is for you. Perhaps a more accurate title for the protest would be "1,000-Loser March". That's the kind of group I could support, if for no other reason than pity and an appreciation for their honesty.

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