The First Mate hates awards shows like the Oscars or the Emmys. She not only feels like they're self-congratulatory tripe, but that they bore her to tears. She hates the speeches most of all. Most of the time, I agree, although I watch the Oscars every year, probably due to some deep-seated masochistic impulse. Fortunately, the world of hip-hop has provided a new way of making the awards exciting -- by stabbing the losers:

A fight broke out near the stage at the Vibe awards ceremony as rapper Snoop Dogg and producer Quincy Jones were preparing to honor Dr. Dre., and one person was stabbed, authorities and witnesses said.

Dozens of people sitting near the stage Monday inside a hangar at the Santa Monica Municipal Airport began shoving each other as the show wound down about 7:30 p.m., a photographer who covered the event for The Associated Press said.

News video showed chairs being thrown, punches flying, people chasing one another and some being restrained.

Sounds like an exciting new development in entertainment awards, no? Maybe the Academy should try this at the Oscars. Michael Moore could square off with Ron Silver. Alec Baldwin would have a deathmatch with his brother Stephen. It may beat Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon stupefying the world with one of their incoherent political rants.

The funniest part of the story wasn't the PR flack who called the rumble a "disruption", seemingly equating the stabbing of a person to someone streaking the stage or picket line. It was this Suge Knight quote stressing the need to keep the Vibe awards going:

"It's really important that we don't take a negative incident like this and do away with the awards," Suge Knight told reporters.

This from the man who went back to prison for beating up a parking-lot attendant while on parole. And he's the voice of reason.

It's time to reflect on the so-called culture of hip-hop. We've been multicultural about this long enough. All this has become, and probably all it ever was, was a gang war with teenagers supplying the money for weapons and drugs. The industry is one disgrace after another, terrorists selling terrorism and murder. People claim that parents thought the same thing about early rockers like Elvis Presley, but all I know is that when they put together shows, we didn't hear about them knifing or shooting each other.

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» Remember, Many of Our Kids Idolize These Idiots from Cranial Cavity
And many of them pumped a lot of cash into the Kerry campaign, which in itself tells you all you need to know.SANTA MONICA, Calif. — A hip-hop music awards ceremony in Santa Monica erupted in chaos last night after rap pioneer Dr. Dre, awaiting a lif... [Read More]

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