I get plenty of e-mail every day, and while I can't respond to each and every piece -- it would take me all day -- I do read it all. Often, people send me tips or suggestions, offer constructive criticism, and occasionally correct my grammar. I also seem to be fairly famous among the families of ex-Nigerian potentates, for some reason.

However, every once in a while, I get e-mail that falls into the ridiculous category, messages that spew bile instead of rational thought. What these mouthbreathers think they accomplish in sending this is beyond me, but for your amusement, I present to you Jerry M. Landay:

Dear "Captain:"

Your "title," a monument to monumental self-infatuation, is the tip-off to the nature of the loudmouth mentality that issues from the politico-narcissists who are now mis-identified as "conservatives." There is n o t h i n g "conservative" about you brown-shirts. You are poorly-parented, spoiled, ill-educated right-wing radicals who are despoiling everything American you touch -- including our standing in the world.

Your fascistic, anti-Constitutional mentality would make our Founders turn over in their graves.

I would urge you to attempt to master rational thought, but I think that is no longer possible. You are what happens when too much money and a computer find their way into the hands of Squirrelheads.

Wearily Worried

Note that Mr. Landay didn't bother to sign his real name, but it came through on his e-mail address. (You have to check your account settings in your mail client, Mr. Landay. It's all part of that rational-thought issue you referenced.) Now, this isn't nearly as bad as Michelle Malkin's hate mail, of course, but then I'm not anywhere as talented (and good looking) as Michelle, so it all balances out. At least he blamed it all on my mom and dad and the California educational system, which is a relief, since I don't have to take any responsibility for my "fascistic, anti-Constitutional mentality".

I'm a bit too busy to respond to this personally, and besides, I'd rather save the time to work on more pressing stories. Perhaps a few of you would like to drop Jerry M. Landay a response of your own? Please keep it civil if you do.

UPDATE: Mom, known as Vayapaso here, responded to Mr. Landay in an e-mail to me:

Ed, [not 'Eddie'? Thank you!]

I have one questions pertaining to Mr. Landay's diatribe, where's the "too much" money (are you holding out on us)?

I have one comment for Mr. Landay, I wonder if his parents are proud of him. I think not. I can assure him, your parents are very proud of you, your work, your writings and your optimism. It is because you are optimistic that you can see the good in people and the good they can do for this country. Mr. Landay talks of our standing in the world; perhaps if people like the Eason Jordans and Chris Cramers of this country stops lying about us and our good works throughout the world; our standing with the people of the world would take on very different perception. Keep up the good work; there are many more people who do appreciate your writings and it seems to me that people like Landay are worried and for me "that a good thing."

Love,

Mom

Gee, thanks, Mom! I haven't heard from the Admiral Emeritus yet -- perhaps he's too guilt-wracked to respond.

For those of you who might think that "Captain Ed" is some sort of grandiosity, please read here for the real explanation of my nickname. I didn't know that being a Star Trek fan in my younger days was such a badge of distinction and social superiority!

UPDATE II and BUMP 11:41 CT: Check out the comments on this post -- Jerry Landay is a former reporter for CBS and ABC. That's the best they can do?

UPDATE III: I'm removing Landay's address and phone number, and I'd ask people not to get that aggressive about it. Just drop him a friendly e-mail if you wish, representative of the classy CQ community that we are.

UPDATE IV: The Admiral Emeritus has recovered from the shame of having a blogger for a son just enough to send this response:

I have always been proud of the accomplishments of both my children.

However I get tired of whiners who like to blame their shortcommings on their parents. But like all the left wing orators, it seems they cannot stand being responsible for their own misdeeds. So they write under phoney names that they think cannot be traced back to them.
Or as in a recent case they identify themselves and quote fraudulent
documents. It's funny that they seem to be connected to the same source.

Ed Morrissey Sr.
Otherwise known as Dad and Admiral Emeritus

Well. That should put this meme to rest as well.

The moral of this story -- don't tick off my parents. I thought this was funny, but parents always have a different take on these things.

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» Captain Ed v. Jerry Landay from Myopic Zeal
Fascinating bit of detective work going on by the posters at Captain's Quarters. Moral of the story: don't do or say things online or via email that you don't want the world to know. Nothing is truly anonymous. ... [Read More]

Tracked on February 14, 2005 1:15 PM

» Liberal Entropy: An Open Letter to Jerry Landay from Opinion Times
The good Captain suggested those of us who have interest might consider dropping Mr. Landay a line. I have done so, and herein provide that response. [Read More]

Tracked on February 14, 2005 3:13 PM

» Jerry M. Landay e-mail from The Baron
After the mess over at Captain's Quarters today, I decided to shoot the Professor an e-mail. In the interest of full disclosure, I will post any reply he may have. In the meantime: Professor Landay, I read your email to Captain Ed. I thought ... [Read More]

Tracked on February 14, 2005 8:47 PM