Captain's Quarters -

Mine Eyes Have Seen The Money!

"Oh my God, Obama's hired Professor Van Helsing!"

Follow me or forever be banished to Hell!

"Leaning, leaning, leaning on my everlasting charms..."

"How does she do it?"

How could anyone wonder, and not instantly think: How could "Hillary of 1,000 FBI Files" NOT do it??? DUH!!!

"I am collecting cash for the Collective Conscienous"

That said. considering how little Liberals give to charity it is no wonder they have so money much to give to their politicians.

"My campaign does not live on bread alone, but by every contribution that comes from your pocket>"

"Ah wuz fo raligon befo ah wuz agin it"

To the mountains they will say, "fall upon us" .......and to the hills ........."Cover us ....!!"

"Let's see your god save you now, you pathetic little mortal!"

"Lock up your Daughter; Lock Up your Wife; Lock up your Dog and run for your Life!"

Caption courtesy of AC/DC.

the whole idea that there is a contest here is laughable. this thing was decided years ago. i just wish the media would stop running stories about it. they insult our intelligence pretending that it's a race. they run the stories as free advertising for her........

"I'd like to apologize for my husband's behavior at the bake sale earlier this morning. In his defense, I did tell him to grab some fresh buns..."

"Those EEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Republicans are going to staaaaaaaaaarve your grandmothers!"

Ruh roh! I should have sent this to the Cap'n under a nom de guerre. Remember what happened when Vince Foster put a Hillary pic in one of the Cap'n's caption contests? Yup, suicide while trying to escape was the "official" story.

Deb and I look forward to this community's awesome imagination, and we hope that it's a very short contest. Get well fast, FM!

Tuesday 03 April 2007:

"Hillary Goosed by Obama Campaign Funding Announcement."

"Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you, my pretty and your little dog too!"

HillaryCare on tour.

2035: The now disembodied head of Hillary Clinton continues to push her infamous "stump" speech for the need for nationalized health care.

"As God is my witness, I SHALL tap dance again..."

OK who put the cross upside down?

"Barack Obama is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

President Hillary Clinton's scolding of "intolerant Christians" in the Dearborn Triangle's last standing church came to a tragic end today when insurgents beheaded her in front of a stunned congregation before razing the building and all inside it to the ground.

--Abu Jihad, Al-Jazeera America, Sept. 11, 2012

Max von Sydow: The power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you!

Hillary: Oooooh, nooooo! I'm mellllllllting,...!

Vampire's! Isn't it VAMPIRE'S that can't look at a cross? Somebody drive a stake through her heart!

Barack's evil web commercial has no bearing to reality, and I pledge to reprogram anyone who has seen it.

Due to a scheduling mix up, President Clinton's intern was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Hey, wasn't that cross silver before she started talking? And why is the baptismal font boiling like that?

I did not have sex with that woman, Ms Lewinski!

We only fornicated.

Easter, shmeester. All will be yours if you only bow and vote for me.

WTF ??!!??
--The Cross

"Stop Bender and Fry from releasing Zoidberg from the lobster tank! We need him for fishless Firdays!"

"Night of the Living Dud"

"We're going inside of ‘em, we're going outside of ‘em -- inside of ‘em! outside of ‘em! -- and when we get them on the run once, we're going to keep ‘em on the run. And we're not going to pass unless their secondary comes up too close. But don't forget, men -- we're gonna get ‘em on the run, we're gonna go, go, go, go! -- and we aren't going to stop until we go over that goal line! And don't forget, men -- today is the day we're gonna win. They can't lick us -- and that's how it goes... The first platoon men -- go in there and fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! What do you say, men!"

Women's power is symbolized in Venus: the large circle with a cross below. Therefore imagine every cross you see as if it were separated from a giant circle on top of it. That's right, the cross is in reality a symbol for a vast conspiriacy to break feminism in two. Every cross you see is proof this conspiracy lives!

"And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling (Kos) kids!"

Senator Hillary Clinton's game of "peek-a-boo" with children at a Sunday School went disastrously awry today when her antics caused the visibly terrified kids to break down into inconsolable sobbing, screaming and even fleeing out of the church and onto a road, where bewildered drivers were forced to come to screeching stops.

"I am the Power and the Glory forever, awomen."

"resistance is futile - prepare to be assimilated"

"Arghhhhhhh....A CROSS! Is that smell garlic or just Bill?"

"If anyone breathe a word or the edge of a word about the other things, I will come to you in the black of some terrible night, and I will bring with me a pointy reckoning that will shudder you! And you know I can do it. I saw Indians smash my dear parents' heads on the pillow next to mine. And I have seen some reddish work done at night. And I can make you wish you had never seen the sun go down!"

Until HE returns, I'm in charge here.

Hillary Clinton, scaring the HELL out of more people for the last 30 years than a whole church full of pastors!

"And now, a closing prayer by my favorite imam..."

Run! Run out the back! The streets are flooded with blood and bobbing heads. Who cares about health care...there won't be anyone left!!!!
Aaaaarrrgggghhhhhh!

"Our government task force on kitebuilding has come up with this new frame design, and with a little more money, I believe we could make it even lighter."

"I need an old priest and a young priest..."

"I'll get you, my pretty - and your little dog, too!"

"Rise up, rise up brothers and sisters and take your place at my side. For you shall be my scythe and your face shall shine like a thousand suns and the streets shall be sanctified by the steaming black blood of the heretics."

Caption contest: Damien has a new host...

Crosses will not work! I will now suck your wallets dry!

chsw

Ia Ia Clinton! That is not dead which can eternal lie, and boy does that describe Bill in a nutshell.

Nyarlathotep! Yog-Sototh! In the sunken city of R'yleh dead healthcare reform lies dreaming.

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

From the pulpit of greed, absent all remorse, the ugly queen continues her quest: THE EPIC

While speaking from the pulpit on Sunday and in response her stated question: "What is best in life?" Mrs. Clinton replied:

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

"...lies, lies, and damned lies."

The Holy Cross, seen here two steps back and to the right, looks on in envy as Mrs. Clinton cajoles her minions into yet another tithe.

Mrs. Clinton expresses the shock, shock she felt when hearing of her husband's infidelities as she confesses to her audience. The Cross wept in the background.

In his latest work, Robert Mapplethorpe unveiled Head on a Platter in a Pulpit, his conciliatory tribute to the "Religion of Peace."

"...lies, lies, and damned lies."

Translated from the original German text of Mrs. Clinton's "1996 Oktoberfest Pulpit Speech."

"Must we bear this cross?"
"Must that cross bear this?"

You are getting sleeeeeepy ... /karloff voice

"The UN is my shepherd; I shall not want. It leadeth me into complacency ..."

"A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish." The Clinton campaign announced Monday that the Senator has "fully recovered" from her five-hour sermon, and said Republicans "purposefully mischaracterize" her "concerns" about "the politics of Satan".

"In God We Trust. Everyone else, put cash into those collection plates".

Isn't it sick? Oh how I hope Obama beats her -
But I bet he has a crapload of cash coming in too -

Then we have Mr. McCain strolling around baghdad murmuring how safe it is whilst wearing a bulletproof vest and being accompanied by 100 soldiers, 3 blackhawks, and a few humvees - all for a nice stroll around the neighborhood - lol

Yeah, we need to step up and demand new players and new rules - I've always thought that a pool of public money for the candidates would be best - dish it out equally, and then let their words/ideas do the winning, not the money - But I suppose that might get some people riled up about the first admendment - I don't know though, it seems to be one way of toning the fundraising down a bit -

"The cross I bear helped me to raise $26 million."

And Jesus said, "Give all that you have to the poor and . . ." uh, but he also said, "The poor you will always have with you." And THAT is why I need $26 million.

"...and the homeless man said, 'Ms. Clinton, if you was President I'd have a decent income and a place to live,' and he gave me his last dollar to help me in my campaign..."

Not to be a spoilsport (I've submitted my own captions) but this is actually a very good and very complimentary photograph of Senator Clinton. She claims to be a confessing Christian and "woman of faith" and I have no evidence to believe otherwise. While I may not agree with her politics and while I may question her sincerity and motives in much of her political posturing I am just a little uncomfortable about using this particular photo as a starting point for mockery or ridicule. The cross, after all, represents judgment as well as salvation for all of us. We must not forget that, while Hillary may have a speck or two in her eye, we have a beam in our own.

"The power of George Soros compels you!"

Hillary's problem is that she wears her "faith" like a prop and turns it on or off like a light switch depending upon whatever crowd she is addressing. When not on camera it's like Bubba's huge camera-ready Bible gathering dust in the corner while he's being serviced by a concubine.

By their acts ye shall know them and Hillary despite her and old media's best efforts... is known.

My gut reaction to photo was of a Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee Dracula character spinning away from the Light before crumbling into dust.

Noticing her position to the left of the cross reminds of the thief who mocked on Golgotha versus the thief who admitted who he was then asked forgiveness. The Clintoons are always the thieves who mocked with a long trail of their destroyed supporters behind them. Yet they are always demanding the repentance of those whom they have destroyed.

When angry Hillary gave her synthetic "Eyes way beyond tard" mockery of both the sanctuary and congregants in Selma church a few weeks ago you could almost hear the curtain in the Temple rent asunder. An avowed Marxist has got to do what a Marxist has got to do...

Alas the caption:

"and of course I'd like to thank Rabbi Cohen for inviting me here to speak to you all today."

"I've always been a Yahweh fan."

An outraged Hillary demands that the cross be turned "right-side up".

'The Evil One is among us and his name is Barak Obama... it says so in the Bible if you jumble the words up enough"

That Hillary Picture kind of reminds me of Children of the Corn..."He wants you too...Malachi..."

My Chocolate Cross and Image WILL be bigger than Obama's; You just betcha!!!

(not much of a caption)

Hillary: To the victor go the spoils!
Tony Soprano: Why don't you get the f--- out of here before I shove that quotation book up your fat f---ing ass!

... amen

"I am here to pick up what is Caesar's'

How many times do I have to tell you idiots...the cross needs to be upside down!"

Hillary teaches the new Creed to her subjects;

"We believe in one world Government,
the UN, the secretary general,
protector of all on earth,
against discrimination seen and unseen.

We believe in one political party, liberal,
the only party of the Government,
eternally begotten of the masses,
Party from party, Power from power,
begotten, not won,
of one Being with the Government.
Through it all things are provided.
For us and our freedom,
she came to national office:
by the power of the old constitution
she was duly chosen as POTUS
and was made Commander in Chief.
For our sake she crucified her political opponents,
who suffered and were driven from office.
On the third year she merged us with the UN,
in accordance with her lifetime goals,
She ascended into global authoritarian power,
and is seated at the right hand of Bill.
She is here in anger to judge the living and the dead,
and her presence will have no end.

..."

Pope John Paul II's beatification seems in doubt today after Senator Hillary Clinton revealed that her prayers to the former pontiff demanding an easy ascension to the presidency have gone unanswered.

"In her house at Mrow'leyh, dread Hello Cthulhu lies dreaming....

'Ia! Kitty F'tagn! The Great Mouthless One!''

No, no, I will not take your filthy stolen money!

- Sister Mary Stigmata

Filthy stolen money? Not a problem.

- Sister Hillary

I hate these meetings with these damn religious people, but I need their money too. I hate their pompous views on saving the unborn, their hatred of our love of Hollywood, their......What?!!!! This mike is ON?!!! Well, that's OK, the media will never pick it up.

"Bless us oh Lord for these thine gifts which we are about to recieve. And uh... ye Lord, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I shall fear no hunger. We want you to give us our day of daily bread. And to the republic for which it stands... by the powers vested in me, I pronounce us ready to eat. Amen. "

God only wants 10%...
...but we in the Democratic Party expect you to give until it hurts.

"...and God says that if I don't raise another $26 million, he'll call me home"

God the Father: "Shall we drop that cross on her right now, Jesus?" Jesus: "Naw, we'll get her in 2008."

"Your souls belong to me, and your lives to the State!"

A DARK AND HUNGRY POWER ARISES!!!

It is done!

The First Mate has returned to the foredeck, and Debbie and I have some hard choices to make. Participation has been fantastic, so we'll try to gin up as many categories as possible.

Each winner will receive a Texas School System Living Bible, edited down to the instructional-only parts and written in third-grade English and Spanish that 38 percent of public high-school seniors should be able to understand. We live in the Heart of Texas, so we can snark like that.